I don't consider myself a gambler.  I don't bet money on football games, I don't bet on the ponies and I very rarely go to a casino.

My wife feels that going to a casino is the same as bringing your money into the middle of the street and setting it on fire.

But I'm in Las Vegas right now, at a convention for Hospital IT Professionals (which I guess I am).  What else are you going to do?  It's over 100 degrees outside and they do have air conditioning inside, you know.

I have been here before (at this convention in Las Vegas) and had mixed results with video poker, Black Jack dealers and slot machines.

Does anyone really understand slot machines?  I know there are a lot of bells and bright lights and cute names, but come on - do you really know what is happening?  Some machines have some many different lines going in all different directions they look like a radar screen at NORAD.  Some machines have the traditional pull handle with a red line across the screen and three scrolling wheels.  You get three "bars" or "cherries", you win.  Big deal.  Insert money, pull handle; insert money, pull handle - is that fun?

Video poker was always my game because I COULD UNDERSTAND IT.  I know what Jacks or Better are.  I know Three-Of-A-Kind and a straight.  So when I got bored with that, I switched to multiple games of poker at the same time - they deal you three, four, five hands at a time.  That get's old quicker and costs more money.  You know I saw a game this morning that had 100 hands at a time?  Geeze Louise.

Last time out here (2008), I learned the game Roulette and won about $250.  At least that had excitement.  But everywhere I went, you could hear hooting and hollering from the Craps table.

Like most of you, I would always walk by, look at the board and all the different bets and just shake my head and keep walking.  I was intimidated.  People yelling and screaming, dice flying everywhere, someone shouting out cute little names for the rolls "Little Joe", "Snake Eyes", "Yo-Yo, Eleven", "Box Cars".  It was like a fraternity that people like me were never allowed into.  Oh, we could watch and observe - but move up to the table and get some chips - I don't think so.

Knowing for a few weeks that I was going to Las Vegas in August, I started thinking about Craps.  I even got a craps app for my I-Phone.  Some friends at work helped me understand the basics of the game and taught me to stay away from everything else (as a beginner).

Here's the Reader's Digest Version:  You place a bet on the "PASS" line.  That means you believe the shooter is NOT going to throw a 2, 3 or 12.  99.9% of Craps players start with this bet.  If he throws a 7 or an 11, you win instantly (you bet $5, you win $5).  If he throws a 2, 3 or 12, you lose your money.  Any other number he throws (4, 5, 6, 8, 9 or 10) is the "POINT" number.  Now that a "POINT" has been established, the shooter continues to roll the dice until one of two things happen - he rolls the "POINT" or he rolls a "7".  If he rolls a "7", that ends the shooters turn and everyone loses the bets onthe board.  When he rolls the "POINT", everyone wins their "PASS" bet.

Once the "POINT" has been established, everyone begins making little side bets that can win you money as long as the shooter continues to roll ANYTHING but a 7.  You can bet on just the number "5", if you want.  If the shooter rolls a 5 two or three times before he rolls a 7, you win money each time.  You can bet on the kind of "10" the shooter is going to roll - a 5 and 5 will get you 10-1 odds.  Again, as long as the shooter continues to NOT throw a "7", people win money.

That puts a LOT of pressure on the shooter, now doesn't it?

So, I gather my nerves, take a deep breath and move up to the table to take a spot.  I cash in and get some chips and I'm ready to rumble.  I watch patiently as the current shooter continues his rolls - 4, 8, 6, 6, 5!  Every time he doesn't roll a 7, people cheer and chips are flying all over the board.  Then he rolls a 7 and the air comes out of the balloon.  So the croupier is clearing all of those chips off the board (there were THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS worth of chips on the board) and everyone is putting down their money on the PASS line.  I lean in an confidently put $15 (the minimum) on the PASS line and patiently wait for the next shooter to start the game.

The croupier gathers the dice with the slim, crooked wooden stick, snakes them around the chips on the table so as not to disturb them and places them in front of me. With a slight European accent, he says,”You’re up”. Excuse Me? How could it be my turn, I just got here?  Apparently, the roll goes around the table (clockwise) and I just happened to be standing in the next spot.

My fellow Goodbloggers, I think I was in shock. Your old Uncle Paul took one look at the table – filled with thousands of dollars worth of chips – and tried to think of a way out, but there was none. It reminded me of the time (as a kid) that I went to our public pool, got to the top of the high diving board and walked out to the edge, only to realize there was no way in the world I was jumping off. I started to go back, but there was a line of kids all waiting their turn, standing on the ladder, moving up one or two rungs at a time as each kid jumped. There was no way out except DOWN. So I closed my eyes and jumped – and never went up on the high diving board again!

So with fear in my heart (and I assume my eyes), I picked out two die and proceeded to throw them across the table, one about 50 feet over the lip of the felt wall and the other landing harmlessly on the table (it was a four). I guess if this were middle school, the table would have broken out in derisive laughter and finger pointing, probably culminating with taunts that would scar me for the rest of my life. But it was no big deal to them, they just gave me two more dice and I threw them again, keeping them on the table this time, and it came up a 7 – everyone wins! I rolled again, then made my point without throwing a 7 and everyone won again. I rolled again and it came up 7 – everyone wins again! I rolled again and threw 10 consecutive non-7 rolls before hitting my point again! Everyone was winning money – and it was all because of my rolling! We were cheering, high-fiving, celebrations all around. I made another point for everyone (yeah) before finally throwing a 7.

It was, in a word, exhilarating! As the other shooters got their turn (one even threw the die off the table - that made me feel better!), I placed more bets and won and lost along with the rest of the table. When it was time for me to go, I picked up my chips (I had more than double what I started with) and cashed out. Treated myself to a frozen yogurt (mmmm) and went to bed.

But today is another day, folks! Come on, 6;”10, The Big one on the end”, “Easy 8”, “9 is fine”; “box cars for everyone!”

Now, if they only had a pool with a high diving board…

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